Common Ways to Control Child's Growth

Common Ways to Control Child's Growth

Education   May 30, 2017

            Common ways to control Child's Growth

Life experiences show that people’s aspirations, pursuits, interests and work can be taken up by them when and if they desire. In order words, many things in life can wait, but child growth and training cannot.

A child can’t wait. Every child needs his parents. He needs the parents’ time affection, attention, guidance and heaven-imparted wisdom to enjoy a blissful relationship with his creator here creator here on earth.

It is important to train our children to be responsible; this is because a child that is trustworthy, dependable, competent and reliable tends to have a well-developed sense of self-worth. Such a child is a prime candidate for usefulness to God who is looking for faithful men and women he will entrust with responsibilities in His household (2Timothy 2:2)

Training affects children’s attitudes, actions and practical contribution to the family. We unwittingly court frustration, and lose our children to outside influences, when we allow our relationships, career and personal struggles to have a stranglehold on us. Allowing such distractions make children drift slowly into the world.

Most baby animals are self-supporting within few weeks of existence. This isn’t the case with humans. It is natural for children to be in the home of, and somewhat dependent upon their parent instinctively train their little ones; they chastise them and teach them obedience and safe habits, cow kick their calves to stop their over boisterous attempts to get milk and bears cuff vigorously sometimes to stop a fight. All animal trainers and horsemen know that punishment is sometimes necessary in handling animals. Children are more precious than animals. They must be given the needed training, discipline, and correction to prepare them for a bright future.

Every parent that appreciates his precious, charming, adorable and lovable child must understand that the same child, like every other human being, has inherent sinful tendencies, which, if not curbed, can lead to the child having an ingrained defiance to authority of any sort, including that of God. Parents have to set boundaries for their children, at every stage of their development, must be made to know the boundary between acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

They must be brought under strong, godly influence of the parents, who harness their capabilities and potentials, so that they can become useful in every facet of life-to the family, the fellowship and the society at large. God’s command to every parent is “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (proverbs 22:6).

               Newborn and infants (0-12 months)

Parenting newborns and infants is where the responsibilities of parenthood begin. A newborn’s basic needs are food, sleep, comfort and cleaning, which the parent provides. An infant’s only communication is crying, and attentive parents will begin to recognize different types of crying which represent different needs such as hunger, discomfort, boredom, or loneliness.

Newborns and young infants require feeding every few hours, which is disruptive to adult sleep circles. They respond enthusiastically to soft stroking cuddling and caressing. Gentle rocking back and forth often calms a crying infant, as do messages and warm baths. 

Newborns may comfort themselves by sucking their thumbs or a pacifier. The need to suckle is instinctive and allows newborns to feed. Breastfeeding is the best and recommended method of feeding. All major infant health organizations recommend six months exclusive breastfeeding of young infants.

 From age 4 to 6 months, your infant can clearly recognize you and others who carry and care for him-siblings, friends, etc. he can also sit, though needs to be monitored closely, so he doesn’t fall down. At this stage, you should sing and speak more to him with a cheerful countenance. Also, let him be with you during family devotions, listening to hymns, Bible readings and prayers.

And when he begins to crawl or walk (some early starters walk at 7 months), you should prevent him from going near electric sockets and refrigerators, touching naked wires, dipping hand in hot water, and walking on slippery floor. Also, keep away from his reach, dangerous objects such as chemicals, knives, razors, rolling objects and heavy loads that can easily fall over.

The forming of attachments is considered to be the foundation of infant’s capacity to form and conduct relationships through life. Attachment is the emotional bond which babies have with their parents. Studies have shown that infants with secure attachment have the ability to form successful relationships, express themselves on an interpersonal basis and have higher self-esteem; while those without it exhibit behavioral problems such as disobedience, hostility and defiance towards authority figures.

                                  Toddlers (1-3years)

Toddlers are much more active than infants, and are challenged with learning how to do simple tasks by themselves. At this stage, you should be heavily involved in showing the child how to do things rather than just doing things for them. They also talk clearly than infants, and mimic a lot. Toddlers need help to build their vocabulary, increase their communication skills and manage their emotions. Also, they’ll begin to understand social etiquette such as politeness and taking turns.

Toddlers are very curious about the world around them, and are eager to explore it. They seek greater independence and responsibility, and may become frustrated when tings don’t go the way they want or expect. You should help guide and teach your toddler and establish routines (such as washing hands before meals or brushing teeth before bed), as well as increase his responsibilities.

Your toddler is capable of memorizing short verses of the scriptures and singing hymns. So, teach him. He also loves stories. Story telling is so important in teaching him Bible doctrines. Teach him to pray and praise God for dad, mum, siblings, food, friends, etc. Give him bright coloured toys; these interest toddlers much.

Children of this age bracket can genuinely be born again. Catherine Booth, wife of General Booth of the Salvation Army, testified that all her children were born again by the age of 3. You too can lead your toddler to the new birth experience. Teach him politeness such as saying “O.K,” “Mummy,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” “please” and “I’m Sorry”  You should also make him run simple errand like carrying your bag, and putting items in appropriate places.

                         Young children (3-10 Years)

Young children are becoming more independent, and beginning to build friendships. They are able to reason and make their own decisions given hypothetical situations. They are very inquisitive too. Young children demand constant attention, but will learn how to deal with boredom, and be able to play independently. They also enjoy helping and feeling useful and able. You should assist them by encouraging social interaction, and modeling proper social and moral behaviors.

At least 75 percent of a child’s adult moral, intellectual and emotional traits are formed at the age of 6. This is also the great age of accountability. Form ages 6 to 10 years, the child gender conscious and may dislike parents, siblings, relatives and other caregivers intruding into his privacy, especially when bathing or undressing. This is the age when he develops very fast morally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.

A large part of learning in the early years comes from being involved in activities and household duties. You should involve your children, especially the girls in cooking and upkeep of the home. Teach them health, hygiene and eating habits through instruction and by example. You are expected to make decisions about their education too. Be heavily involved in arranging organized activities and early learning programmed for them.

                                  Pre-teens (11-12 years)

Pre-teens experience rapid and irregular physical growth. They undergo bodily changes which are more visible in the physiology of girls than boys. The girl maturity rate is also higher than the boys at this stage hormonal changes in them cause them to be restless and always wanting to do something that’ll keep them busy. This is also the age of puberty.

As a caring parent and adult, you should understand that your pre-teens’ concern with their bodily changes accompanied by sexual maturation affects them emotionally resulting in their unpredictability. This coupled with peer pressures, makes parenting at this stage the more challenging. Pre-teens need lots of love, caring, understanding and availability of authority figures.

Moreover, pre-teens learn responsibility and consequences of their actions, even without parental assistance. Therefore, use this period to help teach them the value of money, how to be responsible with it; be consistent and fair with their discipline; openly communicate with them, and do not neglect their needs.

Be mindful of the friends they keep, the places they go, the books they read, the music they listen to, and the programmed they watch on the television. Lead them to receiving Christian experiences of the New Birth, Sanctification and Baptism with the spirit and encourage them to share their experiences with others.

                          Adolescents (13-19 years)

During adolescence children are beginning to form their identity, and are testing and developing the interpersonal and occupational roles that they will assume as adults. Therefore, it is important at this age that you treat them as young adult. Although adolescence looks to peers and adults outside of the family for guidance and model for how to behave, parents remain influential in their development.

Adolescents tend to increase the amount of time they spend with the opposite gender peers. However, they still maintain the amount of time they spend with the same gender, and they do this by decreasing the amount of time they spend with parents. Also, peer pressure is not just the reason why adolescents are influenced by peers, but because they respect, admire and like their peers.

Parent often feel isolated and alone in parenting adolescents, but they should make efforts to be aware of their adolescents’ activities, provide guidance, directions and consultation, because of a child left to himself without positive parental influence is a danger to himself, his family and the society at large. Parental issues at this stage of parenting include dealing with rebellious teenagers, who didn’t know freedom while there were smaller.

 To tackle problem you must build a trusting relationship with them. When a trusting relationship is built, your adolescents are more likely to approach you for help when face with negative peer pressure. Also, build up their self-esteem by building a strong foundation to help them resist negative peer pressure. 

You should understand that adolescence is a paradox. The adolescent is in-between a young child and an adult. He can choose to be either, and wants to be regarded that way by everybody, including his parents. Hormonal charges in adolescents often make them unpredictable in response to situations. Though they are hero worshipers, they dislike hypocrisy, and can easily detect falsehood. They are sensitive to home conditions and may become wayward if parents often and there’s no show of love in the home.

Let your adolescents always attend religious meetings of godly adolescents, who will impact more on their lifestyles. Also, don’t fail to discipline when necessary, “withhold not correction from the child: for it thou beat-est him with the rod, he shall not die” (proverbs 23:13)

                           Adults (20 Upward)

Parenting doesn’t usually end when a child turns 19. Support can be needed in a child’s life well beyond the adolescent years, and continues into middle and later adulthood. Parenting can be a lifelong process. You should understand that your role as caregiver, provider, counselor encourager and disciplinarian doesn’t stop as long as long as the child still lives under your roof. Even when far away from you, you have a responsibility to check on him.

You must set limits and boundaries for your children, and make them live by them. Of course, you don’t shove these down their throats, but by prayer, diligence, conscious and constant efforts, teaching and personal example, you will impact their future for good.

Parental involvement has consistently been shown to exert the influence over a child’s success in every facet of life. So, you must do and give everything to raise your children in the fear and admonition of God. God will help you to succeed in Jesus’ name!

                                                                             extracted from The Deeper Christian women Mirror

Common ways for easy learning

Common ways for easy learning

Education   May 30, 2017

Common ways for easy learning 

In-depth learning means learning as much about a topic as possible-learning for the sake of knowledge and understanding itself as opposed to learning for the sake of passing a test with high grades or trying to impress people.

 Having met many smart students who cannot get good grades, I have concluded that in many of these situations it is because they are not learning materials in depth. They tend to stop with an overview of the materials and say, “oh, I know all that”.

 They do not learn things in depth because they are patterning their learning after someone else rather than stopping to ask questions such as, “do I really know this material?” or “how do I learn best?

All of us learn differently. For example:

•  Some have such developed audio skills that they take in information more easily through the ear than the eye.

•  Others find that their best learning comes from talking over a topic with someone else. The give-and take dialogue sharpens their thinking, causes them to reflect, raises questions, and enables them to hear opposing viewpoints.
•  Still others do their best learning by the rote system-repetition and drill.
• I have friends who have to actually do something-what we now call hands-on learning.

Of course, the best-disciplined learner combines all the methods in some form.

   Sometimes I ask students, “How do you learn best? Which method is the most effective for you?” they do not usually know.

If this is true in your case, here are some helps to discover how you learn best. Remember three things that you have learned really well, such as:

1.  Completing a science experiment
2. Solving a tricky algebra problem 
3.  Having a solid grasp of the cold war
4.  Playing difficult pieces on the piano

Ask yourself, how did I learn these things? What methods did I use?

    Once you have figured out the answer to these two questions, you then understand your primary learning method, at which point you should adapt your learning situation so that you work from your strengths, not from your weaknesses.

   For example if you learn well by repetition, you won’t try to learn the major bone structure of the body by listening to a lecture. Instead, you would probable use flash cards. If you are a good reader, you may be able to visualize the things you read about.

   Rote may be boring to many as a primary learning tool. Still, consider how many people have learned the words to “My country ‘Tis of thee” or Amazing Grace” by repeating the song again and again.

   My general rule for in-depth learning says: Start with methods that work for you. Use those methods for your major learning projects. Then, strengthen your learning skills by using some of the other methods.

Ben Carson in one of his books wrote this: That when he entered Yale University, he had to face two important facts about himself. First, though he could consider himself a smart enough, he was not quite as smart as he thought. Secondly, he did not know how to do in-depth studying.

   His pattern in school had been to put off studying until just before exam time concentrate heavily for a day or two, then slide through for the tests- and forget half of the information afterward.

Other of his friends told him that they learn best that way some that they study best under pressure and so on.

    Those were the kind of learning he too did best, but when he got to Yale University and then to medical school, he had to make changes in his learning methods.

   After nearly failing chemistry in Yale’s pre-med program-a required course to stay in the program he got serious about learning. How do he learn best? He asks himself.

 Although he did some experimenting and try several approaches, by the time he entered medical school he had a solid learning program laid out for himself.

• He finds out that when books are opened, we discover that we have wings

 Right off, he realized he did his best learning by himself and through reading books. Listening to lectures was far down on his list. During his four years at the University Of Michigan Medical School, He cut many lectures so that he could stay in his room and not be disturbed. And he read constantly and insatiably.

     His reading began with the required material, and then he added other books related to the same topic. To get an in-depth view, he wanted more than one writer’s perspective. If they were studying the nervous system, he used three different text books all good, but each with slightly different emphasis.

      Most days, he read from six in the morning until eleven at night, using all texts books and related materials he had available. Someone may loan him class notes and pick up all copies of hand out for him.

It did not take long before he discovers that he was using the right method for himself. What about you? Which is your best method of learning? What Is the best grade you ever got in your life? How did you read then? It time to call for reflection. 

    The time of Ben Carson Has pass,  now is your turn. What will the world say about your situation? What will your children say about you? The change begins with you. You are what you are because you don’t want to know who you are and what you have.

Basic simple ways to Build Your self confidence

Basic simple ways to Build Your self confidence

Education   May 02, 2017

                                         

                 Basic simple ways to Build Your Self Confidence

"To successfully build your self confidence, you must used your thought to create an image of who you want to be, and your emotion to help you feel this amazing new you and then visualize  and focus on it until it becomes your reality".

Confidence is an expression or a feeling of certainty in other words it is a quantify of trust one has. Outwardly the average persons appears quite self-sufficient, composed, sophisticated, self controlled. That is the way we are expected to look in public.

 But, as someone once observed, in every human being there is a frightened child. there is one in you and in me, too. Appearance notwithstanding, most human beings are plagued with a malady of self-doubt, shyness, sense of inferiority, and low self-esteem.

we are afraid of ourselves, of the future, of the world. it is something we have to struggle against all the time. very few people have wholly transcended this feeling of self put down and achieved completely, serene self-confidence. I do not think any-one has done so except after definite change in his basic thinking.

                                           

                   Problem of lack of confidence among Youth

The condition in people often showed up everywhere. most of these happen among the youth. Young people sometimes give impression of being very self-assured. But most of them suffer from lack of confidence.

The slightest challenge becomes a mountain to themselves. A girl once wrote to her professor how shy and un-happy she is  because she is fat. Others are self conscious because they are thin, tall, or short.

 To quite a few, the nose seems to be a special problem. same professor had many letters from teenagers whose main complaint is " my nose is funny" Many others are troubled about ears.

The Book of Proverbs says; "in the fear of the lord is the beginning of confidence" What does that mean, "fear of the Lord"?  Either awe, respect, or love would, I think, be close to intended meaning.

In respect of the Lord, there is strong confidence. when an individual gets close to God, in loving harmony with God, then his weaknesses, his self-doubt, his shyness disintegrate.

                                          
                                              Who Are You?
An ancient philosopher said "Man, Know thyself for this is the beginning of wisdom". Now I'd like to ask you question. Do you mixed up in your thought about yourself? do you really know what is in you and what you can do? Have you really become aware of your potential? There are no greater days in a person's life than the day he really finds himself that he knows that he is more than equal to the difficulties he has to face in his life.
The question now is this; Have you found yourself?

                               How to overcome Inferiority and gain your self-confidence
1. Think positives; "Thinking create the actual fact" said Brain Tracy. think creatively gets you a creative result. William James was one of the greatest philosopher-psychologists in the western world. He once said "be not afraid of life.

 Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact" you will note that he does not say "will create the fact" but will help to create the fact."

2. Believe. Suppose i want to change some circumstances. The first thing I must do is believe that I have sufficient reserves to do it.

3. Humility. You must humble yourself to seek God and His wisdom and guidance. And then work at the problem, sometimes through pain and suffering and toil. And if all the times I hold steady in belief, this very belief attracts dynamic influences that help create the facts.

If you still feel that you still suffer from poor self-confidence, there are a number of simple things to do to boost yourself and hopefully breakout your downward spiral. You may already be doing some of these things and certainly don't need to do them all.. Just need to do those you feel most comfortable with. 

1.  Make two lists: one of your strengths and one of your achievements. Try to get a supportive friend or relative to help you with these lists, as people with depression are not usually in the most objective frame of mind. Keep the lists in a safe place and read through them every morning
2.   Pay special attention to your personal hygiene: take a shower, brush your hair, trim your nails, and so on. 
3. Wear clean clothes that make you feel good about yourself. All things being equal, wear an ironed shirt rather than a crumpled T-shirt, you get the idea. 
4. Eat good food as part of a healthy, balanced diet. Make meals a special time, even if you are eating alone. Turn off the TV, set the table, light a candle, and make a moment to feel grateful. 
5.  Exercise regularly. Go for a brisk walk every day, even if it is cold or rainy, and take more vigorous exercise (exercise that makes you sweat) three times a week. 
6. Ensure that you’re getting enough sleep. See my article manage your stress 10 minutes sleeping. 
7.  Reduce your stress levels. If possible, agree with a friend or relative that you will take turns to massage each other on a regular basis. For other suggestions, see my article managing stress. 
8. Make your living space clean, comfortable, and attractive. Whenever I clean my windows or just water my plants I seem to feel much better. Display items that remind you of your achievements and the special times and people in your life. 
9.  Do more of the things that you enjoy. Go ahead and spoil yourself. Do at least one thing that you enjoy every day. 
10.  Perform some art. Activities like painting, music, poetry, and dance enable you to express yourself, interact positively with others, and reduce your stress levels. You might even impress yourself! Find a class through your local adult education service or community centre. 
11.  Set yourself a challenge that you can realistically complete. For example, take up yoga, learn to sing, or throw a small dinner party for some friends. Just go for it! 
12.  Do some of the things that you have been putting off, such as filing the paperwork, repainting the kitchen, or clearing out the garden. 
13.  Be nice to people, and do nice things for them. For instance, strike up a conversation with the postman or shopkeeper, invite a neighbor round for tea, visit a friend who is sick, or get involved with a local charity. Putting a smile on someone’s face is bound to put a smile on yours. 
14.  Get others on board. Tell your friends and relatives what you are going through and ask for their advice and support. Perhaps they too have similar problems, in which case you might be able to band together and form a support group. Don’t be overly shy or reserved: most people do want to help! 
15.  Spend more time with those you hold near and dear. At the same time, try to enlarge your social circle by making an effort to meet and befriend people. 
16.  Avoid people and places that treat you badly or make you feel bad about yourself. This could mean being more assertive. If assertiveness is a problem for you, ask a health professional about assertiveness training.