Simple ways to control problems in marriages
The home is an institution for people needing professional care or supervision or a place one lives permanently, especially as a member of the family or household, and Challenges the other side are setbacks and confrontation that occurs in every home.Just as life is, marriage is Chequered with different experiences. It is blissful, exciting and fulfilling, but at the same time, it is fraught with challenges and problems.
Most of the challenges or problems which threaten marriage backgrounds idiosyncrasies, carelessness, misunderstanding, bad behaviour of the partners, or lack of love and affection among them.
Other challenges are caused by external forces such as interference from in-laws and demonic attacks. these problems are discussed below in some details.
1. Infidelity in the home: The wife or the husband may not be faithful to their marriage vows that is either of them may be having extramarital affair.
2. Different core Beliefs: starting a marriage on different core foundations may quickly lead to disaster. This applies mostly in area of religious beliefs.
If one of the partners in holiness, the other believes no person can a holy Life; or where each interprets religious teachings differently because they attend different religious assemblies.
conflicts arising from the couple's core beliefs may cause cause particular difficulties when it comes to deciding how to raise children.
3. Lack of physical intimacy: Physical intimacy is the highest form of intimacy, excitement and affection in marriage. if a couple lives together but doesn't have physical intimacy, their relationship is almost a resemblance of a friendship. Sacrificing intimacy because there is no time, one or both partners are tired, or somebody is holding a grudge is a recipe for the end relationship.
creating time for physical intimacy demonstrates love, commitment and support for the future of the marriage.
4. Family Issues: Frequent fights between couple over issues concerning family members sour the relationship and widen the communication gap between husband and wife.
5. Financial Matters: two individuals generally do not have the same spending pattern. conflict over financial are prevalent in urban families where needs are more than the available finances resources.
6. Infirmity: This has to do with either of the spouses or other members of the family having a health challenge.
7. Problems from in-laws: The in-laws, at times, can be very hostile to either of the spouses. This, if not properly handled by both spouses, can cause serious problems in their marriage.
8. Infertility: one of the partners might be barren or sterile. If they are not able to handle this with wisdom and love, it can give rise to a lot of problems in their marriages.
How should you as a couple deal with this challenges? Identify the problems and their causes; don't announce your problems to everyone; avoid blaming others; shun anger; own up where you are wrong and talk it over with your partner; face the problems squarely; and never worry about the problems, but bring them face to face with promises of God.
Prayer and faith in God will turn your situation around requires the couple to work together. Every marriage has its own challenges. The couple must consciously work at surmounting the challenges of their marriages, and make it work.
It is the little things each does for the other everyday that fosters good marital relationship. The following are things that make the marriage relationship work.
- Consideration: Husband and wife should be considerate of each others feelings, needs, and sensibilities. Don't do to your spouse what you consider offensive
- Concern: One of the most dangerous signs in a marriage is when a spouse stops showing concern for the other. As a wife or husband, you must always show concern for the needs and well-being of your partner's health, for instance. always stay by them and take care of them.
- Communication: Communication between the partners is the lifeblood of any relationship. Nothing must hinder the free flow of communication between the couple.
- Courtesy: As a couple, you must be very courteous when talking to each other. Refrain from being rude, offensive, or disrespectful to each other.
- Availability: You must make yourself available for your spouse as much as possible. Availability entails having listening ears, being a shoulder to cry on, sharing laughter, having mealtimes together, etc. These fosters friendship in marriage.
- Compliment: Don't see all that your spouse does for you as normal, his responsibility, or you right. Compliment him even for the little effort he puts into what he does.
- Gifts: You should learn to give gift to each other. when you see anything your partner likes while you are shopping, buy it for him if it's within your means.
Always surprise your spouse when he least expects it. That means that you do not seek their permission before doing it. that is why its called a surprise.
- Contact: Never Lose contact with your partner; never fail to communicate with him. Always stay in touch with him no matter how busy you may be.
Make out time even when job is very demanding, to give him a quick call, send him an SMS, or have lunch with him if your office is close to his or your house is by the corner.
- Assistance: Assist your wife at home. No woman is superhuman. She shouldn't be left to do all the domestic chores. Surprise her occasionally by helping out with some chores.
- Prayer: Pray together and pray individually for each other's specific needs.
- Respect: Remember that respect is reciprocal. Respect each other, and let the respect of flow to your in-laws as well.
- Income: Contribute to the family income. It is a known fact that God has made the husband to be the breadwinner of the family, but wife should support him in this role by contributing her quota to the family income. When you do this as wife, you will reduce the burden of your husband, especially at this time of global economic recession.
- Protection: The husband is to protect his wife against physical and emotional assaults from outsiders. the wife should do likewise.
- Apology: Learn to apologize to your spouse when you offend them. Always say "I'm sorry" and truly mean it.
- Spirituality: most importantly, put God first in your relationship; He's the foundation and the anchor of marriage. Do everything within your power to prepare your spouse for eternity, which is the ultimate goal of every Christian. Build together here on earth and make heaven together at the end of life.
As mature adults, you should understand that life is not void of storms and the marital life is not an exception. Vicissitudes of life rock every marriage at one point or the other, but learn to endure with your spouse.
God has made you flesh, so share your challenges and burdens in love. Faithfulness is required of both of you as true joint heirs of grace for a fulfilling union. Don't let your marriage go sour. Do something urgently to mend fences with your spouse if you have issues in your marriage.
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