Common ways to control Child's Growth
Life experiences show that people’s aspirations, pursuits,
interests and work can be taken up by them when and if they desire. In order
words, many things in life can wait, but child growth and training cannot.
A child can’t wait. Every child needs his parents. He needs
the parents’ time affection, attention, guidance and heaven-imparted wisdom to
enjoy a blissful relationship with his creator here creator here on earth.
It
is important to train our children to be responsible; this is because a child
that is trustworthy, dependable, competent and reliable tends to have a
well-developed sense of self-worth. Such a child is a prime candidate for
usefulness to God who is looking for faithful men and women he will entrust
with responsibilities in His household (2Timothy 2:2)
Training affects children’s attitudes, actions and practical
contribution to the family. We unwittingly court frustration, and lose our
children to outside influences, when we allow our relationships, career and
personal struggles to have a stranglehold on us. Allowing such distractions
make children drift slowly into the world.
Most baby animals are self-supporting within few weeks of
existence. This isn’t the case with humans. It is natural for children to be in
the home of, and somewhat dependent upon their parent instinctively train their
little ones; they chastise them and teach them obedience and safe habits, cow
kick their calves to stop their over boisterous attempts to get milk and bears
cuff vigorously sometimes to stop a fight. All animal trainers and horsemen
know that punishment is sometimes necessary in handling animals. Children are
more precious than animals. They must be given the needed training, discipline,
and correction to prepare them for a bright future.
Every parent that appreciates his precious, charming,
adorable and lovable child must understand that the same child, like every
other human being, has inherent sinful tendencies, which, if not curbed, can
lead to the child having an ingrained defiance to authority of any sort,
including that of God. Parents have to set boundaries for their children, at
every stage of their development, must be made to know the boundary between
acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
They must be brought under strong, godly
influence of the parents, who harness their capabilities and potentials, so
that they can become useful in every facet of life-to the family, the
fellowship and the society at large. God’s command to every parent is “Train up
a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it
(proverbs 22:6).
Newborn and infants (0-12 months)
Parenting newborns and infants is where the responsibilities
of parenthood begin. A newborn’s basic needs are food, sleep, comfort and
cleaning, which the parent provides. An infant’s only communication is crying,
and attentive parents will begin to recognize different types of crying which
represent different needs such as hunger, discomfort, boredom, or loneliness.
Newborns and young infants require feeding every few hours, which is disruptive
to adult sleep circles. They respond enthusiastically to soft stroking cuddling
and caressing. Gentle rocking back and forth often calms a crying infant, as do
messages and warm baths.
Newborns may comfort themselves by sucking their
thumbs or a pacifier. The need to suckle is instinctive and allows newborns to
feed. Breastfeeding is the best and recommended method of feeding. All major
infant health organizations recommend six months exclusive breastfeeding of young
infants.
From age 4 to 6
months, your infant can clearly recognize you and others who carry and care for
him-siblings, friends, etc. he can also sit, though needs to be monitored
closely, so he doesn’t fall down. At this stage, you should sing and speak more
to him with a cheerful countenance. Also, let him be with you during family
devotions, listening to hymns, Bible readings and prayers.
And when he begins to crawl or walk (some early starters
walk at 7 months), you should prevent him from going near electric sockets and
refrigerators, touching naked wires, dipping hand in hot water, and walking on
slippery floor. Also, keep away from his reach, dangerous objects such as
chemicals, knives, razors, rolling objects and heavy loads that can easily fall
over.
The forming of attachments is considered to be the
foundation of infant’s capacity to form and conduct relationships through life.
Attachment is the emotional bond which babies have with their parents. Studies
have shown that infants with secure attachment have the ability to form
successful relationships, express themselves on an interpersonal basis and have
higher self-esteem; while those without it exhibit behavioral problems such as
disobedience, hostility and defiance towards authority figures.
Toddlers (1-3years)
Toddlers are much more active than infants, and are
challenged with learning how to do simple tasks by themselves. At this stage,
you should be heavily involved in showing the child how to do things rather
than just doing things for them. They also talk clearly than infants, and mimic
a lot. Toddlers need help to build their vocabulary, increase their
communication skills and manage their emotions. Also, they’ll begin to
understand social etiquette such as politeness and taking turns.
Toddlers are very curious about the world around them, and
are eager to explore it. They seek greater independence and responsibility, and
may become frustrated when tings don’t go the way they want or expect. You
should help guide and teach your toddler and establish routines (such as
washing hands before meals or brushing teeth before bed), as well as increase
his responsibilities.
Your toddler is capable of memorizing short verses of the
scriptures and singing hymns. So, teach him. He also loves stories. Story
telling is so important in teaching him Bible doctrines. Teach him to pray and
praise God for dad, mum, siblings, food, friends, etc. Give him bright coloured
toys; these interest toddlers much.
Children of this age bracket can genuinely be born again.
Catherine Booth, wife of General Booth of the Salvation Army, testified that
all her children were born again by the age of 3. You too can lead your toddler
to the new birth experience. Teach him politeness such as saying “O.K,”
“Mummy,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” “please” and “I’m Sorry” You should also make him run simple errand
like carrying your bag, and putting items in appropriate places.
Young children (3-10 Years)
Young children are becoming more independent, and beginning
to build friendships. They are able to reason and make their own decisions
given hypothetical situations. They are very inquisitive too. Young children
demand constant attention, but will learn how to deal with boredom, and be able
to play independently. They also enjoy helping and feeling useful and able. You
should assist them by encouraging social interaction, and modeling proper
social and moral behaviors.
At least 75 percent of a child’s adult moral, intellectual
and emotional traits are formed at the age of 6. This is also the great age of
accountability. Form ages 6 to 10 years, the child gender conscious and may
dislike parents, siblings, relatives and other caregivers intruding into his
privacy, especially when bathing or undressing. This is the age when he
develops very fast morally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.
A large part of learning in the early years comes from being
involved in activities and household duties. You should involve your children,
especially the girls in cooking and upkeep of the home. Teach them health,
hygiene and eating habits through instruction and by example. You are expected
to make decisions about their education too. Be heavily involved in arranging
organized activities and early learning programmed for them.
Pre-teens (11-12 years)
Pre-teens experience rapid and irregular physical growth.
They undergo bodily changes which are more visible in the physiology of girls
than boys. The girl maturity rate is also higher than the boys at this stage
hormonal changes in them cause them to be restless and always wanting to do
something that’ll keep them busy. This is also the age of puberty.
As a caring parent and adult, you should understand that
your pre-teens’ concern with their bodily changes accompanied by sexual
maturation affects them emotionally resulting in their unpredictability. This
coupled with peer pressures, makes parenting at this stage the more
challenging. Pre-teens need lots of love, caring, understanding and
availability of authority figures.
Moreover, pre-teens learn responsibility and consequences of
their actions, even without parental assistance. Therefore, use this period to
help teach them the value of money, how to be responsible with it; be
consistent and fair with their discipline; openly communicate with them, and do
not neglect their needs.
Be mindful of the friends they keep, the places they
go, the books they read, the music they listen to, and the programmed they
watch on the television. Lead them to receiving Christian experiences of the
New Birth, Sanctification and Baptism with the spirit and encourage them to
share their experiences with others.
Adolescents (13-19 years)
During adolescence children are beginning to form their
identity, and are testing and developing the interpersonal and occupational
roles that they will assume as adults. Therefore, it is important at this age
that you treat them as young adult. Although adolescence looks to peers and
adults outside of the family for guidance and model for how to behave, parents
remain influential in their development.
Adolescents tend to increase the amount of time they spend
with the opposite gender peers. However, they still maintain the amount of time
they spend with the same gender, and they do this by decreasing the amount of
time they spend with parents. Also, peer pressure is not just the reason why
adolescents are influenced by peers, but because they respect, admire and like
their peers.
Parent often feel isolated and alone in parenting
adolescents, but they should make efforts to be aware of their adolescents’
activities, provide guidance, directions and consultation, because of a child
left to himself without positive parental influence is a danger to himself, his
family and the society at large. Parental issues at this stage of parenting
include dealing with rebellious teenagers, who didn’t know freedom while there
were smaller.
To tackle problem you must build a trusting relationship with
them. When a trusting relationship is built, your adolescents are more likely
to approach you for help when face with negative peer pressure. Also, build up
their self-esteem by building a strong foundation to help them resist negative
peer pressure.
You should understand that adolescence is a paradox. The
adolescent is in-between a young child and an adult. He can choose to be
either, and wants to be regarded that way by everybody, including his parents.
Hormonal charges in adolescents often make them unpredictable in response to
situations. Though they are hero worshipers, they dislike hypocrisy, and can
easily detect falsehood. They are sensitive to home conditions and may become
wayward if parents often and there’s no show of love in the home.
Let your adolescents always attend religious meetings of
godly adolescents, who will impact more on their lifestyles. Also, don’t fail
to discipline when necessary, “withhold not correction from the child: for it
thou beat-est him with the rod, he shall not die” (proverbs 23:13)
Adults (20 Upward)
Parenting doesn’t usually end when a child turns 19. Support
can be needed in a child’s life well beyond the adolescent years, and continues
into middle and later adulthood. Parenting can be a lifelong process. You
should understand that your role as caregiver, provider, counselor encourager
and disciplinarian doesn’t stop as long as long as the child still lives under
your roof. Even when far away from you, you have a responsibility to check on
him.
You must set limits and boundaries for your children, and
make them live by them. Of course, you don’t shove these down their throats,
but by prayer, diligence, conscious and constant efforts, teaching and personal
example, you will impact their future for good.
Parental involvement has consistently
been shown to exert the influence over a child’s success in every facet of
life. So, you must do and give everything to raise your children in the fear
and admonition of God. God will help you to succeed in Jesus’ name!
extracted from The Deeper Christian women Mirror
